Today's post is about something that all mummy's (and daddy's) will understand, the question we all get asked, 'when are you having another?'
From Harry being born I was asked, 'are you going to have anymore?' Jesus, he was 1 day old, how am I meant to answer that?
People seem to think its a reasonable question to keep asking and now Harry's nearing 2 it seems the question is more asked than ever! When I was younger, before I had harry, I thought I wanted 2 children, you no when you imagine your dream family, mom, dad, 2.4 children, dog, white picket fence, yh that. When harry was born, I thought maybe one more when he's of school age, but over the last year or so, something clicked, and I no now that I never want anymore. I no its a bold statement to make but I'm happy with just one baby, he is everything I ever want and more. I like our family of 3, I like the dynamics and how it works. I don't have a longing for a huge family or more babies.
When I see friends babies I think 'aww bless' but it doesn't make me broody, and the idea of having anymore actually makes me feel a little ill if I'm honest.The statement is thrown up 'yh but you don't want him being lonely' my answer is, he has 5 cousins, 2 who are only 2yrs older than him, a uncle who is one year older, and our friends have babies too, so he's never going to be lonely, or have no one to play with. Myself having a older brother and sister, I was near enough a only child because they had there own lives and I loved it just being me my mom and dad. My mom is from a huge family of 15 siblings, but she rarely sees any of them, even though we all live within a few miles of each other. Hubby is the oldest and has a brother who is 18 who has a 1yr old son, and one on the way, we don't see him, a sister who lives between his mom and dads house and a little brother 3 who we see every few weeks. I don't think having siblings automatically makes you less lonely
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Me and hubby have decided that we would much rather give harry the best life possible and not stretch ourselves out and be unhappy. As silly as it sounds, I worry I wouldn't love another child like I love harry, so it wouldn't be fair, everyone says 'oh don't be daft' but that's the way my mind sees it.
I wouldn't say my health has necessarily put us off the idea of anymore children, but its something I have to think about, would my heart take another pregnancy? I'm not willing to test it out.
Is it selfish of me to just have one baby? Because that's what I want, should I consider Harry in this?
How many children do you have, or want?
Love Lucy x
No way hosay! You are not selfish at all. After I had Joshua I came to terms with accepting that he would be my only child after such a horrendous pregnancy and labour. I literally greived the children I wouldn't have. I came to terms with Josh being an only child. It's only recently started to change and I would pop another out now if we could!
ReplyDeleteThat's not to say you will change your mind hun, you sound pretty sure. But my point is that everyone can make their own mind up and it's up to you-don't feel guilt, no-one misses out being an only child anyway!! :-) x
thank you, im glad i dont come across as some crazy lady. oh dear sounds like you had a awful time :( but go you for wanting more, if thats what you want then you can only do what makes you happy :) x x
DeleteI always imagine I would like two or three children, I would love a girl so imagine I would always want to try again if I didn't have a daughter, although I would probably be the same if it was the other way round and want to try for a boy!
ReplyDeleteI say this now but I am a TOTAL wimp, I can't stand needles and the thought of giving birth makes me feel faint so I may feel differently after child number 1! I also can't imagine having no free time for myself either but I guess you have to adapt to this very quickly! x
aww how lovely. its really no that bad, im a huge wimp too and hate needles, but you can do it. and i no everyone says this but its all worth it when you have a lovely baby at the end of it all x x
DeleteI totally agree, I have no desire whatsoever to have any more! xx
ReplyDeleteyay, glad its not just me with this opinion :) ones definately enough for me x
DeleteI've got 2, but I'm always getting comments on when I'm going to have my third, so even when you keep going the pressure to have more doesn't stop. Most of my friends are moving on to their third and they think I'm mad for stopping, even though they can't use any "it would be nice for them to have a sibling" arguments.
ReplyDeleteIts strange isnt it, seems everyone else has the issues with people having more and more children. When it should just be you and your partners choice how and when you have children :) x
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