I wasnt going to go here and write about this on my blog because i didn't deam it fair on Gareth as its about his family. But its causing a bit of a disagreement between the two of us so i thought id ask your opinions if you would be so kind.
Gareth's Mom walked out on him when he was little, (he was 5/6) left him in there house one day with his little brother, said 'im going to get you some chips for dinner' and never returned. From that moment Gareth his brother and his baby sister were brought up by his Dad and his Dads parents. Seeing his mom from time to time.
This happening meant the siblings were all super close, Gareth acting like a parent to his younger siblings really. Me and Gareth met in 2004 and it took him a long time for him to open up about his life and feelings and what had happened in his past (some awful things!). Gareth went to school did his GSCEs went and got a job over the summer he left school, and then went to college got his qualifications and went right into a job, the same one hes in now. His brother on the other hand (3years younger) spent alot of time 'wagging' school to the point where prosecution action was going to take place. In 2007 he decided he wanted to go live with his mom permanently. So he did, he never went to school after this. Gareth would see him every weekend still. In 2008 he met a girl, the daughter of a friend of his moms , she moved in with him and his mom. Her own parents warned that's she was evil, sneaky and not to be trusted. Boy were they right.
I wont go into full details, but lets just say shes done some horrible things against me, Gareth and Harry. Trouble causer is a understatement.
She has turned Gareths brother against his Dads side of the family and makes it difficult to contact them. They live in a 3 bed house (all benefit paid for), hes 20 shes coming 22, they have 2 children. Neither him nor her have EVER done a days work in there lives.
Gareth is very effected by the whole situation, he cant get into his head why his brother would do such horrible things to him, to us. Why he doent want to be in contact and why hes shut himself away.The situation has caused alot of his 'down days' as I've blogged about before.
He thinks about his brother all of the time, he still loves his brother after everything. Unlike me who hates the pair of them. It was his brothers 20th birthday in November and he brought a card and put it in the post for his brother. Gareth wanted to send money too. I made it quite clear after all they have done, it would be over my dead body!
Last week he got sent a message on FB from her:-
hi gareth not being funny but what was the point of you sending K* a card for his birthday to build bridges and then when he messages you to say thankyou for card and to ask how you and your family are you ignor him sorry but your not the one who has to deal with him when he gets upset that you to cant even talk now at one point you used to be close its bad enough he dont want to talk to ur dad
im not sending this to be nasty im just asking what the point was at the end of the day i dont want to start an arguement with you i am well aware of the fact you dont think to much of me but i can take or leave be friends
Not being funny and at the end of the day, all in one paragraph! lovely!! I couldn't believe there/her cheek, there suddenly the victims. What about my Gareth? his feeling his emotions? The message they spoke about asking how 'his family were' was sent 12hrs before this one. Gareth's not a fan of fb, hes on there but hardly uses it ever. Hes been working all hrs god sends and his 1st priority when hes gets home is not 'oh il check fb' he proberlys checks it twice a week if that. Unlike them who have the luxury of sitting on it 24/7
I was fuming!! I wrote a lovely angry reply to them, then Gareth told me to be the bigger person so i didnt send it, I'm so very proud of him. He wrote back a civil response explaining 'i have been working 6am until 6pm, by the time i get home i have 30mins with Harry before he goes to bed so I'm sorry i couldn't reply sooner. i sent the card to show im thinking about him and have not forgot him'
However, now comes the whole point of this blog post. Gareth wants to send there 2 children Christmas presents this year because 'its not the kids fault' i agree, but i refuse to send them anything. Our son has been spited in all of this, has he ever had so much as a card? no, nothing. Not that he wants anything from them but still, hes innocent just like there kids. We have never done anything against them, however they have against us, through jealousy and bitterness.
I will not be the bigger person and send gifts, i just cant and wont. They have caused this situation and I'm not about to send gifts for there children because to me that says 'do what you want to us and we will still be nice!' they would probably end up on ebay or in the bin anyway knowing them.
Gareth wants to send gifts, i don't.
Whats your opinion? what would you do?