That's what i feel like screaming today and to be honest the last few weeks have felt the same too. Those bloody single magpies are haunting me.
I no i said i was on a break, and its been a short one i no, a week and im back. I need a platform to stand on and just scream, and you my blogging friends are the perfect listeners.
Today Harry went to the hospital for another one of his eye appointments. They normally go as follows:-
We go in (me Gareth and Harry)
We wait
Harry gets annoyed.
We finally get seen
Harry gets wound up at being poked and prodded
Gareth gets het up
They manage to do a few tests
They say its ok
We leave
Today however was different. I went alone to the hospital, just me and Harry. Gareth was at work and i told him not to book the day off as he gets just as agitated as Harry, if not worse when they are doing the tests. We went in, i had put drops in at home 40mins earlier to dilate his pupils. We waiting for no longer than 10mins and was called through.
We finally got to see the head Dr for the eye department, other times we have had to see her colleague as shes been busy on emergency's. She did the tests on Harry, he let her for once and dint get annoyed.
She examined his tear duct and decided that it was blocked, and had been since he was born (they have only just found out which is annoying!!) She said that was the cause of the constant repeat bouts of conjunctivitis.
Then the treatment was explained to me, 'he will be put to sleep with a general anistetic'
That's it, i was in tears. The thought of my baby boy having to go through that was awful.
She went on to explain what they would do, and to be honest i was hardly listening, i just kept kissing Harry on the head as he sat on my lap unaware of what all she was saying was going to mean for him.
We have to now wait for a appointment through the post. I feel sick, i feel angry, i feel like such a bad mother, ever time he looks at me and smiles, i just think about what hes going to have to go through in a few weeks, months or when ever we get an appointment. How unaware he is, and i no, i fell like saying 'NO YOU CANT DO IT' but deep down, the rational side of me knows it is for his benefit.
 |
| this morning - after his drops |
I find myself hating on other parents with healthy children and how some of take them for granted, and how they don't have to put them through such horrible things.
I noin reality this is stupid, and it will be for his benefit and it will be over before we all no it. (as 101 people have told me today, again, i no they mean well bu cant help but think 'easy for you to say')
So another ranty post from me. Im sorry.
I hope all you lovelies and your little ones are ok :)
If anyone has ever had esperience with this type of oporation, id LOVE to know what its like and how your little one took to it being done, or being put to sleep.
I think il be back blogging, not every day but when i can as i have missed it.
So blog you soon
Love Lucy x
My eldest son has been put to sleep 3 times. First time as a toddler, then at 5 and 6 years old. Hosptial staff are great when dealing with children. One parent is allowed to stay while they are put under. You can sit on the bed with him or on a stool. The hardest part is waiting for them to wake up. You will not be allowed into recovery until after he has come round, but the nurses will look after him and will callfor you when he wakes. Find out how long the op takes and make sure you are back at the ward ready for the call. Its heartbreaking, but the staff are usually very understanding. I remember buying a big dolphin balloon for my son after one op. Good luck xxx
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear Harry will need surgery. I have never been in that situation myself, but my friends little boy had to have a hernia operated on last year (he was 4). My friend was beside herself with grief and worry about the surgery and anaesthetic. It is only natural for you to feel that way. Her little man is now 5, and doesn't remember a thing about his surgery at all. He only remembers it as "the time mummy got really upset"! So if anything the little one will be taking care of mummy! Unfortunately this is just part of your mummy adventure, and getting through this tough time will show you just how strong your lovely family is. Just do whatever you need to do to get through it, and know that so many of us will be thinking of you all and behind you wishing and praying! Good Luck. You can and will get through this! Sending lots and lots of hugs!
ReplyDeleteI know it sounds horrible but I went through surgery really young and never had any traumas or anything so positive thinking and everything will be well with your little guy xx
ReplyDelete